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Mar. 17th, 2003 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caraigGenerally, my goal here was not to talk about the war, politics, faith and spirituality, or anything else that goes far, far beyond 'my opinion,' but I guess if it's to be put anywhere, a livejournal is the place, n'est ce pas?
About all I'll say on the war front is that (a) since it's unavoidable at this point, I hope it ends soon; (b) if I see anyone selling 'freedom fries' I'm not at all sure what I'll do, despite the fact that french fries aren't really from France at all anyway; (c) I really feel for the kids in green who are being sent into hell's jaws, and I will not stop supporting them; and (d) the US Government is another matter entirely. But, 'Our country, right or wrong,' and it's up to the citizenry of the US to make themselves heard, and up to the government we elect into office to find a solution that results in neither mob rule nor a tyrrany of the minority.
But enough of that. It's too bloody depressing.
So not only have I dreamed in wireframe, I've started having dreams of sitting at computers while they render. Funny how that segues into my next; yes, that's me, Master of the Non Sequitor and the One-Line Segue!
Dreams. Okay, not the dreams that come to us when we sleep, but the other kind of dreams. Hopes, prayers, wishes. i'm sure there's not a one of us who hasn't had a lazy moment and started wondering 'what if.' And not the past-tense what-if, the future tense. 'What if I get a job in Vancouver? What if I don't pass the next class? What if my project gets picked up to get shown at SIGGRAPH? And what if I actually see that girl again, get up the gumption to actually approach her and propose coffee/cocoa/something after class, and she says yes?' And thus are runaway trains of thought set in motion careening down the tracks of our minds to collide head-on with the light at the end of the tunnel which is actually the locomotive of reality. Oh, the humanity. Film at eleven.
My concern is this: does that kind of dreaming jinx us? Of course, nothing will ever be exactly as we dream it, but what about 'close enough?' I guess what I'm saying is, does visualizing something in any sort of detail jinx us, make it impossible for such a situation to come about? It certainly can set us up for disapppointment, which is probably what I've run into the past. And a lot of you probably have, too. You knwo what I'm talking about. You visualize something to such an extent that it's going to be utterly wonderful, that you feel elated just picturing it, that you can *feel* the wind in your hair, *smell* the fragrence on the air. You teeter back and forth in your seat with the vividness of the joy... and then you realize you're just dreaming, and the smile fades a bit. But has the damage been done? Have we either set ourselves up for a grand disappointment, or have we tripped some sort of circuit in the machinery of the universe which prevents that particular blissful moment from ever happening? And if the latter, then... well, why is that? As for if the former... well, that's just to be expected.
So how can we visualize the utter worst of things and that seems to have no problem at all coming to pass?
I guess I should just accept Occam's Razor and say that of *course* we're going to be disappointed when the rapturous eidolon never comes to pass, what we get will never be exactly what we want. However, the dread visualizations we imagine, the vorpal eidola that cut deep into our self-esteem, also never come fully to pass -- somehow -- at least completely, so I imagine that it balances out somewhat. We just happen to realize that 'what we fear worst' has a habit of coming to pass easier, or at least 'close enough.'
Supposedly my mood is 'listless.' This is an awful lot of stuff to be typing 'listlessly.' Must be the melacholic muse gleefully strutting her stuff.
Someday I want to draw a picture of the Thing inside each of us that taunts us, tells us we're not capable of achieving our dreams, purposely holding us back when we need to charge forward. I want to draw the appropriate response to it... generally involving forty inches of high-carbon steel with a razor-keen edge. Really, when you think about it, what else are you going to do with the Thing, invite it out for tea and biccies? No! Of course, it's easier saiid than done. :6
About all I'll say on the war front is that (a) since it's unavoidable at this point, I hope it ends soon; (b) if I see anyone selling 'freedom fries' I'm not at all sure what I'll do, despite the fact that french fries aren't really from France at all anyway; (c) I really feel for the kids in green who are being sent into hell's jaws, and I will not stop supporting them; and (d) the US Government is another matter entirely. But, 'Our country, right or wrong,' and it's up to the citizenry of the US to make themselves heard, and up to the government we elect into office to find a solution that results in neither mob rule nor a tyrrany of the minority.
But enough of that. It's too bloody depressing.
So not only have I dreamed in wireframe, I've started having dreams of sitting at computers while they render. Funny how that segues into my next; yes, that's me, Master of the Non Sequitor and the One-Line Segue!
Dreams. Okay, not the dreams that come to us when we sleep, but the other kind of dreams. Hopes, prayers, wishes. i'm sure there's not a one of us who hasn't had a lazy moment and started wondering 'what if.' And not the past-tense what-if, the future tense. 'What if I get a job in Vancouver? What if I don't pass the next class? What if my project gets picked up to get shown at SIGGRAPH? And what if I actually see that girl again, get up the gumption to actually approach her and propose coffee/cocoa/something after class, and she says yes?' And thus are runaway trains of thought set in motion careening down the tracks of our minds to collide head-on with the light at the end of the tunnel which is actually the locomotive of reality. Oh, the humanity. Film at eleven.
My concern is this: does that kind of dreaming jinx us? Of course, nothing will ever be exactly as we dream it, but what about 'close enough?' I guess what I'm saying is, does visualizing something in any sort of detail jinx us, make it impossible for such a situation to come about? It certainly can set us up for disapppointment, which is probably what I've run into the past. And a lot of you probably have, too. You knwo what I'm talking about. You visualize something to such an extent that it's going to be utterly wonderful, that you feel elated just picturing it, that you can *feel* the wind in your hair, *smell* the fragrence on the air. You teeter back and forth in your seat with the vividness of the joy... and then you realize you're just dreaming, and the smile fades a bit. But has the damage been done? Have we either set ourselves up for a grand disappointment, or have we tripped some sort of circuit in the machinery of the universe which prevents that particular blissful moment from ever happening? And if the latter, then... well, why is that? As for if the former... well, that's just to be expected.
So how can we visualize the utter worst of things and that seems to have no problem at all coming to pass?
I guess I should just accept Occam's Razor and say that of *course* we're going to be disappointed when the rapturous eidolon never comes to pass, what we get will never be exactly what we want. However, the dread visualizations we imagine, the vorpal eidola that cut deep into our self-esteem, also never come fully to pass -- somehow -- at least completely, so I imagine that it balances out somewhat. We just happen to realize that 'what we fear worst' has a habit of coming to pass easier, or at least 'close enough.'
Supposedly my mood is 'listless.' This is an awful lot of stuff to be typing 'listlessly.' Must be the melacholic muse gleefully strutting her stuff.
Someday I want to draw a picture of the Thing inside each of us that taunts us, tells us we're not capable of achieving our dreams, purposely holding us back when we need to charge forward. I want to draw the appropriate response to it... generally involving forty inches of high-carbon steel with a razor-keen edge. Really, when you think about it, what else are you going to do with the Thing, invite it out for tea and biccies? No! Of course, it's easier saiid than done. :6
