On erasing posts-- why self-censor? It's not going to change anything but give you a false sense of things later when you look back and can't tell anymore if you were happy that year, or coping with something that's just come up again recently, or had found a balance you later forgot. Embarassing as old angry or depressed entries can be, isn't it good to know the themes in your desires and fears and how they've changed (or not) when looking at your present path? Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, and all that.

Anyway, hope you figure out what's missing and find it. Good luck.

As a note on one of your worries... remember that even if you have to go back to an IT tech job for a time while still seeking the job you really want, you're not going backwards, because you've already gone forwards. You can't return to where you were before school, because you have acquired skills and will continue to improve them on your own now. It only remains to find them a paying outlet. There is no shame in doing what you need to survive in the meantime. It won't take away anything but time in your day (in return for money) if you refuse to let it take more.

I do hope you find a job you actively want sooner rather than later, though!